Are Strict Moms Raising More Successful Daughters?
Time to ask ourselves: “Was my mother a strict parent? Maybe I’m a strict parent now, although I may not admit it to everyone.” But, it turns out we might see the strong parenting style from a wrong perspective.
Could it be that strict parenting is a better way to raise kids?
We might expect our teenage kid to slam their bedroom door when we get tough with them, but it turns out it’s worth it in the end. At least, that’s what researchers say.
Dr. Erica R. Ramirez and her team from the University of Essex conducted a study on 15,000 teenage girls between the age of 13 and 14. They discovered that the teenagers who have pushy mothers feel more secure and confident than others.
Along with their emotional maturity, they were also more likely to finish college, work a good job, and be more successful.
This is related to the fact that the frequency of teenage pregnancy was by 4% lower in girls with strict mothers than in those with lenient parents.
A lot of teenage mothers leave school early and get a low-wage job, so these girls are more likely to end up less successful than others. Although that’s not always the case, the study says teenage pregnancies play a crucial factor in the new mother’s success in life.
So, here’s what researchers concluded about the girls in the study:
- Higher chances to go to college;
- Lower chances for a teenage pregnancy;
- Lower chances to get stuck in low-wage jobs;
- Lower chances to be unemployed for a longer time.
In other words, setting high standards and raising your kid in a strict parenting style turns out to be more effective than the permissive one.
How Strict is Good Strict?
This is probably a question that every parent asks themselves sooner or later. Too strict parenting can make the child lie more often because they are not feeling safe, to tell the truth.
This will also happen if parents put too much pressure on their child to be perfect, if they use excessive discipline, or if they shame their child in front of other people. So, this is definitely bad strict parenting.
While the authoritarian style works out of fear, the authoritative is focused on setting high standards combined with open communication and lots of parental warmth. Do you see the difference?
And, there’s permissive parenting which doesn’t allow children to experience legitimate feelings like disappointment and sadness, making them intolerable to these feelings. Also, they can’t learn what self-management is and set their own limits.
So, the good strict parenting style is probably the authoritative style, which is a middle ground between authoritarian and permissive parenting. It combines the healthy limits set by authoritarian parenting and the empathy from the permissive one.
Your child-parent relationship is unlike no other. The reality is, each of these relationships is unique, but this study points out the little-known benefits of strict parenting. So, if you have a nagging mother, don’t be mad at her.
She does that just to help you find the right direction in life. And, if you are the parent, think about the pros and cons of each of these parenting styles, and choose what you think is best for your child.