4 Things People Need to Know When Positive Thinking Doesn’t Help
Everyone always says be positive to get positive. However, things sometimes can be a little more complicated. In the article, people are going to read about a person who once realized that positive thinking could sometimes slow us down.
Allison Carr tells a story about one year when she, her husband, and her 6-month-old son moved to Santa Barbara. (1) The moving, leaving their family and friends was a big step.
Allison’s spouse had a new job of the dreams, and they wanted to live in sunny California. Besides leaving their beloved ones, Allison needed to leave her private practice in Chinese Medicine in order to be a full-time mother.
Moreover, Allison decided to forget about the negative things and focus on the positive. She wanted to concentrate on blogging, and she even thought of working on her long-planned book or starting a coaching practice.
Allison’s family moved to Santa Barbara in January happy to experience the beautiful weather, while their close people were complaining about the bad weather.
She and her husband were happy to have a new beginning, so her spouse started working, and she was determined to focus on her work. She thought that everything she needed was a positive attitude and determination.
However, when her friends would call her to ask how was she doing, she would respond that everything was fine, but she was lying. Nothing was fine. Whenever she had some free time, she would try to write, but she felt stuck and did not know what to do.
So, she thought of hiring a life coach because she felt like she needed someone to show her the right direction. The life coach explained that Allison needed to work things out, she needed to take some time to be sad about her old life otherwise nothing would work.
Then, Allison realized that because of her determination to be positive, she forgot about her sadness. And, she decided to accept her life coach’s advice, and she learned a few things for the time when positive thinking is not helpful.
Below you are going to read four things that Allison has learned about the time when positivity may slow you down.
1. Feel Whatever You Feel
Allison was scared to be sad because she thought she would stop herself from experiencing good things. Anyway, she learned that she should feel sad but do not attach a story to her sadness, such as thinking that she would never have friends.
Actually, negative stories are the ones that are not helpful, not the real feelings. Allison says that feelings are just like the weather outside, you cannot control them, and they often change.
The most important thing is to let yourself feel whatever you feel that way the sadness will go away more quickly.
2. Take Time For Yourself
When she realized what was going on, Allison decided to take some time for herself. She gave up blogging, planning, and putting pressure on herself; she welcomed the sadness.
She allowed herself to cry, and she took siestas with her baby. In fact, making plans and being busy was a way to avoid her true feelings. All she needed was time.
3. You Can Find Gratitude in Grief As Well
Finding gratitude in grief was hard for Allison because she wanted to blame the sadness on their new home. However, the beauty and comfort of their new home would always win her over.
So, as she focused on herself, she realized that she needs to be grateful for having a beautiful home. Being thankful for things in life is a positive thing that keeps your head up.
4. You Will Dream Again
There was a time when Alison felt like she would never change, but she did. She began being happy about her new life, and she stopped feeling sadness.
When she changed she made new friends, she got new work opportunities, a new sense of fun and her relationship became better. She finally found the magic she needed.
She realized that being true to herself was what she needed. Of course, being positive is not bad, but people need to pay attention to their true feelings.
When you allow yourself to accept your emotions, go through them, and make space for new experiences. In fact, positive thoughts are helpful only when you feel truly joyful on the inside.
Finally, folks, you should never put pressure on your feelings. You need to allow yourself to feel sad. Remember, being sad is okay.