10 Reasons Why Children Don’t Listen to Their Parents
Most parents prefer their kids to be listening to them. But, how many parents have their wishes fulfilled? Often, it is annoying when children do not want to listen which causes even bigger problems.
Even when we were kids we did not listen to our parents that much and that was a difficult task for our parents. Sometimes, some kids are obedient most of the time, but, of course, there are situations in which they just do not listen.
And, there are many reasons why children do not listen to their parents.
Why Do Children Not Listen?
Well, listening is not an innate behavior, it is a learned one. You need to teach your children to listen to you. Children are born thinking they are the ones in charge, so if you do not teach them to listen to you, they will not.
The training begins when children are babies at the time when parents teach them how to say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ Most of the time, children like to do things as they wish, just like they were grownups.
If your kid is playing some game, and you ask it to do their home assignment, they may ignore you. Everyone wants to do things that are interesting.
So, kids will not listen to their parents because they do not find it interesting, and they choose to do what they like, not what their parents told them to do. When it comes to teenagers, they will not do anything even if you asked them a million times.
Some parents are always telling their kids what to do and what not to do, some are constantly going after their kids to clean up, tell them to brush their teeth, and so on.
Now, why would children listen to their parents if they are so boring? It happens for a kid not to register anything that their parents say. Moreover, there are many reasons why children do not listen, so in this article, we will talk about ten of them.
1. Words Children Do Not Like
Often, parents use words such as “You,” “Why,” If,” “No,” “Can’t,” or “Don’t” to start a sentence, and immediately, the children stop listening. When you, as a parent use “You,” a kid feels like they are being attacked like you are accusing them of something.
And, when you use “If,” the child feels like you are threatening. Moreover, using “Why,” makes children feel like they need to give an explanation about something, and if they are too young, they may be unable to explain.
And, the rest of the words just stop children from doing what they like, which makes them not listen to you.
2. Lecture Children
When you are lecturing your children they are just gazing over the moment, and that is not helping. The way and the tone a parent uses when they are speaking to their kid determine whether the kid will listen.
Usually, children feel like their parents are talking and talking all the time. So, the best way is not to give them lectures. And, some parents are constantly talking without letting their child express their opinion.
If you are a parent, say what you want in just ten seconds because talking more than that is pointless. Always keep in mind that the attention span of kids is short, so you need to use short, declarative, and clear sentences.
3. Using a Loud and Instructive Tone
Parents who have a habit of speaking with a loud and instructive tone have children who do not listen to them unless they are using that tone. When children listen to this loud tone, they know their parents are serious.
4. Not Getting Your Child’s Attention
Talking while your kid is busy playing a game is not effective. You need to tell your child that you need to have a conversation and you need their full attention. It is very important to maintain eye-to-eye contact.
Sometimes, when a kid is not listening to their parent it may be because they are distracted. This thing usually happens with young kids who have a short attention span.
If you are having a teenager, make sure for them not to be on social networks if you want them to pay attention to you. Since it is difficult to understand a teenager’s life, there are times when you just need to ask for their time.
5. Yelling When Children Do Not Listen
Almost every parent yells when their child is not listening to them. Parents do this because they think that yelling will make their kids listen to them. And, sometimes, yelling is a result of anger.
So, when this happens, kids usually do not listen nor talk to their parents, or they may even talk back, and get angry as well. If you are a parent, you need to use a loving voice instead of yelling.
6. Compelling Children or Using Language of Coercion
Bossy parents who have children, who want to do their own way, find it hard to deal with them. Some children give a better response when being controlled, but some do not. These parents and kids may have often disagreements which result in children not listening.
Children know that their parents often repeat themselves. And, if you as a parent repeat the same thing more than once or twice, you become boring, and your kid is not listening to you. You may try laying out some rules and consequences for not listening.
8. Not Being a Good Role Model
Children follow their parents. Parents who are good listeners have better chances of getting their kids to follow their example. However, if your child notices that you are not listening to someone or to them, then, they will do the same.
Remember, if you and your spouse talk loudly without listening, your children are watching all of that. Children are like sponges, keep in mind that.
9. Not Listening is a Choice
If you try all the possible techniques, and your kid is still not listening to you, then, they may be doing that because they just want to. What are the reasons behind this?
Well, some kids want to get more attention, or they may want to disrespect you because of some issue you may have. In the case of teenagers, they prefer talking to their friends instead of their parents.
10. Medical Condition
Sadly, the reason for not listening may be some medical condition like a listening issue or something else. In this case, you need to consult your doctor or pediatrician.
After all, kids are just kids, and it is okay for them not to pay attention all the time. However, you need to be careful not to let them exaggerate.