9 Questions to Ask Before Planning a Future with Someone
Are we feeling like we are with the right person, or we think that maybe our partner isn’t right for us? Choosing the person we will spend our life with is more important than we can imagine.
It affects our personality, our daily life, our mood, our health, our entire life. That’s why we must know whether we want to spend our life with someone or not.
Even if you are married, it’s never too late to analyze your life and the relationship with your partner. Your life is most important, so don’t let yourself be trapped in a relationship you don’t want, no matter how long you two have been together.
Here are some things to consider before deciding to marry someone. These are in fact questions you should ask yourself, and the answers will hopefully make it easier for you to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person.
And if you are already married, the questions could help you realize if you have married the right person and whether you live the life you’ve always wanted.
You might not have thought about these issues before, but if you want to commit to someone, you better do. Still, you shouldn’t see them as deal-breakers as love can be motivation itself to work through almost anything.
1. Why Do They Love You?
This is something that most partners ask each other in a relationship, and the answer is really important as it can reveal something that you didn’t know or expect.
If your partner has told you the answer by now, then you know which of your qualities they find most important.
If they focus on your financial or social status, you might want to look elsewhere for true love. On the other hand, if they focus on your personality traits, it means they really know you and love you for who you are.
2. What Are Their Goals and Are They Willing to Adjust Them for Your Relationship?
Pursuing life goals is a great thing for everyone, but if your partner always puts their personal goals before you or your relationship, then you have a problem. They must be willing to make adjustments when necessary, just as you should.
3. Do They Know How to Compromise?
Marriage is nothing without a compromise. If you think about getting married to someone then you probably know if that person can negotiate and compromise.
So, if they believe in “my way or highway,” you should reconsider your decision about being with that person for the rest of your life.
4. What’s Their Relationship with Their Family?
Sometimes having too close or too bad a relationship with their family can affect your marriage. Still, it’s not always the case, but the way your partner treats their family could tell how they will treat you in marriage.
This doesn’t refer to everyone, but it’s still something to pay attention to.
5. How Do They Imagine a Life with You?
If you haven’t asked this question to them by now, you should do it the moment you have a chance. The answer can reveal your partner’s expectations about their and your role in the marriage.
6. Are They Keeping the Romance Alive?
Even though this could be different in a relationship and a marriage, you probably know if your partner is that type of person who tries to keep the spark alive.
Every marriage has periods when the romance is “dead,” but it’s nice to know that your partner will want to do something about it, and so do you.
7. Can They Work Through the Rough Patches?
A partner who always does their best to overcome a rough patch in the relationship will make good life partners. But, it takes two to tango, so if only you are trying to solve the problems and conflicts in the relationship, it won’t work.
8. How Do You Handle Stress, both Individually and Collectively?
Pay attention to your partner’s reaction to everyday stressful situations, like being stuck in traffic or getting an exorbitant parking ticket. In this way, you can see what they are under pressure.
Years of marriage can bring a lot of pressure, so it’s good to know how both of you handle stress together. Ask yourself do you isolate or connect to solve the problem as a team?
9. Is There Something That You Are Expecting to Change?
Do you expect your partner to change in any way in the future? Maybe they are selfish, but you expect them to change after having kids, or they are irresponsible with money, and you believe they will eventually grow up.
But, it’s time, to be honest with yourself. Do you really think that they will magically become a different person? If you decide to marry your partner, you need to accept them as they are, and that’s the end of the story.
If they change for the better, that’s a plus, but in most cases, what you see is what you get.
We hope the answers to these questions will help you to realize if the person you are with is the right one for you.