We Should Put Down Our Phones: Why Presence is the Best Gift We’ll Ever Give
The only thing that is worse than not listening is pretending to care. Whenever someone is talking to us, and we are staring at the phone, we give that vague murmur of agreement as if we heard a thing they said.
We avoid face-to-face communication because it is far easier to talk on social media. That is why we pretend to listen to the people around us.
Today, whenever we go to the bar or restaurant with a group, 90% if not 100%, will be staring at their phones.
There are very few people, the rare ones, who want to spend time with others and love to communicate.
Another reason why people stare at their phones is to distract themselves for at least a moment. But, that moment later becomes minutes, hours, and days. What is important in a relationship is to have a sense of sharing, relating, receiving, and listening.
If we don’t have these simple, yet crucial things, we can’t expect to build a lasting relationship.
The Constant Phones
Imagine planning a night out with your group of friends. You plan a night full of laughter, storytelling, traveling, hugging. But, instead, your entire group of friends is completely focused on their phones.
In the end, the night becomes tainted by endless status updates, selfies, videos, incoming and outgoing phone calls, and annoying notifications.
There is no end to their need for a distraction. Everyone’s hands are glued to the device. What is worse, in the end, you all tell each other on Instagram and Facebook, how great the evening was.
What Could Have Been
Everyone is guilty because no one is trying to change the situation. What could have been, could have only happened if every single person in the group gave their full undivided attention to the rest of the group.
But, most of us struggle to start a conversation, rather than to keep it. Since no one in the group is listening, they all feel unimportant and the night becomes an endless silence.
What Is the Main Culprit?
Some might think that technology has changed us. But, we disagree. We believe that the main culprit is our mind.
We always wanted to be able to control every situation and be able to get distracted whenever we had the need to.
Sometimes that is far easier than being self-conscious about many things.
- ‘’Am I weird?’’
- ‘’Do I stink?’’
These are only a few of the many questions we keep asking ourselves. In fact, we always wanted to be able to avoid any situations where we would be forced to be in direct contact with someone else.
That is why we create a perfect momentary distraction from the people around us.
We Have Become Professional Fake Listeners
Certainly, we have achieved something in life. Most of us have become the perfect fake listeners. We become extremely convincing when talking to people. In addition, we make them believe that we indeed are listening.
However, when someone is truly listening, we are stunned. When a person is really present in the moment, that moment becomes like magic.
We feel an instant connection and a chance to resonate and communicate.
Eye contact is crucial. Once we look at someone in the eyes and we talk to them, we begin to understand and listen to them. As a result, we can get closer to that person.
However, to achieve this, we have to have no distractions that would limit us from communicating.
We all want to be understood. But, we also want to empathize and listen to people. Once we truly start to communicate, we will learn to reflect on things and become better people.
However, we rarely get to spend time with someone who truly cares.
In fact, we don’t know how to make that time interesting. Instead, we rely on these distractions to pass the time. In the end, we create a huge distance between us and those dearest to us.
As a result, we end up alone and still yearn for that affection and attention. Well, unless you show people that you care, they won’t care about you either.
What Can We Do to Change?
Well, what people used to do a couple of years ago. Talk, listen, be there for each other. Also, play board games and get closer to people.
In fact, use the holidays to create an emotional and spiritual connection with the people who are dearest to you.
This will be worth far more than any gift you might receive.