According to Harvard Psychologists: Parents Who Raise “Good” Kids Do These 5 Things
We must admit that times have changed dramatically since we were kids. New times means new habits, attitudes, and behaviors. Today’s generations are equipped with the newest technology which distracts them from the things we used to do as kids.
Things like go out and play, spend time having fun and socializing like we used to. They spend their time completely different than when we were kids. Due to these changes, all parents face many challenges.
Today’s parents raise their children differently than they were actually raised. We have to admit that the most significant challenge is the outcome of the care.
Common Concerns of Parents
All parents ask themselves the same questions: Will my kid be a person with good manners? Will my kid know how to communicate and bond with other openly and freely?
Will my kid be a complete person? Am I doing the best I can? Am I missing out on something? Will my kid succeed in life?
Well, the psychologists at Harvard University have asked the same questions, and they have found that a few elements are still fundamental and crucial for the childhood of every kid.
You might be surprised to find out that the key to raising a well-adjusted kid nowadays is not that complicated as you think.
According to Harvard Psychologists, These 5 Things Can Help You Raise a Good Child
1. Your Children Should See a Mentor and Moral Role Model for You
As you probably know kids at younger age learn from their surroundings. What they see they repeat, meaning what you do now is what most likely they will do later.
Therefore, it is crucial to pay close attention to your actions and manners. Moreover, it is vital to admit mistakes and faults. It is vital to admit that you made a mistake in front of your child. After, show him/ her that you are going to do your best to work on that.
The result which you want to see in your kid comes from the effort you will put into yourself on fixing this mistake. It’s vital to practice care, honesty and fairness for yourself.
This will show your kid how to do the same once he/she makes a mistake. Talk to your kid, speak openly about your mistakes. The purpose of this it to show to your kid honesty, humility, and good manners.
In that way, they will feel more encouraged and comfortable to look to a positive outcome when it comes to their issues in the future.
That is how your kid will look up to you once you earn their respect and trust. Show your child that every person makes mistakes.
- Admit your mistake, apologize for it and show your kid that you will make up for it and not do it again
- Explain to your kid how you plan to avoid doing it again and tell what you learned from the mistake
- Make sure during this time to re-energize yourself, in order to be more caring and attentive with others
2. Teach Your Kid to See the Big Picture
Kids care about and empathize with a small circle of friends and family. Of course, this is entirely normal. But you need to teach children to begin thinking about people outside of this small circle.
The larger circle might include people who work in her/his school, a new child in the class, or a kid who doesn’t speak the same language as your kid.
Kids need to learn and know that their actions and thoughts might influence a community.
- Make sure to encourage your kid to consider the feeling of others, mainly those who might be vulnerable
- Feel free to give them small ideas on how to take action, like reaching out to the new child in the class, or comforting a child who was teased
- Talk about different experiences of kids in other communities or countries
3. Encourage Your Kid to Practice Gratitude and Appreciation
A kid who’s not spoiled is actually a kid who acknowledges the roles of other people in their life in a healthy and good way. In that way, they appreciate the people who contribute to their lives.
Gratitude is essential for every child. People who actually practice gratitude regularly are more likely to be forgiving, helpful, compassionate and generous.
Moreover, they are more likely to be healthy and happy. The best way for them to learn is to show them yourself. Kids should learn from your actions. Show them gratitude for something that they will do.
However, you need to be careful, because you don’t want to spoil them. Show them gratitude as the study says for real responsibilities. Expect your kids to help with siblings and household chores routinely.
Praise them only for uncommon acts of kindness. When specific routine actions are expected, and yet they are not rewarded, there is a greater chance that they will become part of the everyday life.
- Encourage your kid to be grateful
- Encourage your kid to express appreciation towards people who contribute to their lives such as teachers, siblings, and family members
4. Spend Quality Time with Your Kids
Don’t be just physically around your child, be with them entirely. No gadget can replace the bonding which the kid needs. Communicate openly, do things they like together, and listen to them carefully.
In that way, your kid will love you more, and learn how to be a caring and considerate person. Last, but not least your kid will have and remember a happy childhood.
This is actually the foundation of everything. Your child will love to have a person to talk to and share experiences and ideas with, even if they might not be aware that they are doing that.
Ask them about their day, and listen to what they say. Make sure to discuss possible dilemmas, however, don’t dogmatize lessons due to your experiences. Your kid needs to experience these things on their own.
Try to learn the games they like and play with them. In that way, you will share the fun. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you are completely around them and if you acknowledge their emotions.
- Play games with them
- Read your kid a bedtime story
- Ask them about their day and most importantly listen
5. Teach Your Kid to Set High Ethical Expectations and Care for Others
You should know that is vital for your kid to bond and socialize with other properly. Avoiding selfishness and caring for the happiness of others might be very beneficial for your kid’s future.
According to the study, it’s vital that kids hear from their caretakers and parents that caring for other people should be a top priority. Even though parents say that they do this, often kids aren’t getting that message.
Therefore, you should teach your kids to have high ethical expectations. Teach them that they should always do the right thing no matter how hard it might seem.
For this, you can serve as a role model. Let your actions speak for you. Obligations and responsibilities are something which your child should understand.
Also, he/she must realize that they come in different shapes such as chores, manners, friends, promises and school responsibilities.
Make sure that they know that they are not alone. Moreover, kids should know that other people will have certain expectations from them which they can fulfill.
- Encourage your child to work things out before he/she decides that they should quit a band, friendship or a sports team
- Let them consider the consequences of every action and become aware that they might influence other people around them
- Encourage them to solve the problem
You should know that our personality is shaped in our childhood. Therefore, you should begin paying more attention to your child and his/her development. Try these things and be the best possible version of yourself. Do it for you and your kids.