A Letter from a Narcissist On How They See Love
Some people say they love their partner with the three-word phrase we all know without really meaning it. Usually, they are those people who aren’t able to love anyone else other than themselves. Sounds familiar?
Surely you have encountered such a toxic person at least once in your life. The definition of love for these people is obsession and control, and not understanding and care.
In case you’ve been unfortunate to be loved by a toxic narcissist, you will relate to the letter below. The letter is actually written from the point of view of someone incapable of loving anyone else other than themselves.
My dear, I shall never say this out loud because it might show that I purposely exploit the world for what I care and that is my benefit. I care only about myself, and yes you are the one who carries all the load of our relationship.
And yes, I am the one who reaps the benefits of the relationship. Whenever I say “I love you,” you should know that I really mean it. You see, I love just how hard you work, and that I forced you to compromise about everything just to keep me happy.
I adore just how you do everything in your power to please me, but you no longer expect me to return that amount of effort.
I adore that I am the one who has the power to reduce you to tears, to make you feel insignificant and small, to make you feel as you are not enough for me.
That, I have to admit, makes me feel powerful. You let me walk all over you, and I do it, I keep pulling you down. I do it so you won’t wake up one day and realize that you actually deserve much better in comparison to what I can give you.
I adore how I am the one who blames you for gas-lighting. I love how I call you crazy and irrational when you bring up those things which I do not want to talk about.
I also adore the fact that I can expect more from you while you on the other side lower your expectation when it comes to me. My life is much easier when you just let me walk all over you and do what I want.
I just love it how I take your kindness and innocence for granted, and use them only for my pleasure and thrill.
I just adore how I can keep your concentration on easing my discomfort and pain. For me nothing ever is enough, I never feel respected, cared for, loved, or admired enough. And all of this I expect you to fix.
I know that I need your care, support, and love, but I do not believe that all the things above mentioned areas vital to my feelings. When it comes to both of us, I’m the priority, and I want it to stay that way, the truth is that you shall never be my priority.
You see, with us it’s never about the connection, closeness, and empathy you desire. It’s never about how I hurt you. It’s actually always about how I can control you, and make you feel as you aren’t enough.
I love you but as a person who loves a possession, I am superior to you. To me you are just a nice thing which I want to own, I love it because I feel the envy others show when they see us together.
I have to admit that my brain is racked with pain due to self-loathing all the time. For that reason, I want to spend time with you, I adore feeding off your unconditional support, and I just adore hating you for needing you all the time.
I love it when I blame you for my narcissistic tendencies. I love you. Why? Because I’m tired of the self-loathing.
All those emotions I’m too afraid to have, the neediness, everything I call you crazy and weak for, makes me love you even more because I feed off of you, I really do.
But, I know that if one day you realize this, you will walk away and not look back. That is why I shall never tell you the truth. I will do my best to keep your hopes up that I might change and become a better person, but I won’t.
That day you stop caring, I shall fall. But I will do my best for that day to never come, I will keep you occupied with my thoughts, so you won’t have time to think of yours. For me, this is the perfect relationship.
With my unconditional self-love
Your Narcissistic Partner.”
This is a fictional letter, understand that a narcissist would never be this candid to themselves. However, if you have a toxic person for a partner, you should know that type of honesty is what you need.
You see, you need it to help you forgive yourself, walk away without looking back and move on.