How to Make a Change in Our Life When We Need It The Most
There comes a time in our life when we realize that we cannot live our life anymore the way we have been living. At that moment, we are aware that we need to change something. We know that we can change or we can stay the same.
So, we need to choose one of the two alternatives, and that makes us feel trapped. We cannot make a decision which is insupportable.
This vicious circle of going around without any exit has happened to a woman who could not leave her bad marriage, and she could not stay in it too.
If you are in the same or similar situation, you need to know that every change in life is a long journey. During this journey, you need to be honest with yourself, and you need to be brave enough to do all the things you were afraid to do.
If you want to change, you need to know that it feels like you are about to jump into unexplored water, and you have no idea whether you will survive or not. When you face this, you may get back to your comfort zone.
Going back to your unhappy home filled with suffering and heartache gives you a known situation in which you are aware of the things that may happen, and you may find comfort.
However, if you decide to go back to that comfort zone, you will realize that your fear is what prevents you from having a different life. Your fear is the thing that holds you chained in a desperate and dysfunctional life.
What do you think about this? Does it still sound comfortable? Not really. It is terrifying. And, again, you are stuck. You cannot live your life like that, but you are scared to do something about it. Being in this situation is horrifying.
A life like that has its special kind of despair, filled with shame, doubt, fear, and anger. But, you are still unable to make a choice.
When you are stuck in a desperate life, there comes the point when you realize that everything you have felt and believed came from the voice of your codependent mind. This voice had become strong and loud and drowned your own voice.
The best thing you can do is to convince yourself that everything bad you have said to yourself was the truth. Being codependent is like a seed, just like addiction, depression, and other issues.
This seed is inside your brain, and in some people, happens something that will trigger it. The situation that triggers, it gives it the power to grow bigger and stronger. Hearing that bad voice you allow it to take control of you, so it begins to push you down.
As time goes by, you will hear just this malicious voice, and you may think that it is you, but it is not. That is your codependent mind which has grown big enough to suppress your mind.
This codependent mind, no matter what was the thing that has triggered it, has its own tools, such as fear and self-doubt. So, you end up confused.
When you have fear and low self-esteem, the voice tells you that you are not as good as you think, you are worthless, and it makes you believe that you cannot trust your own feelings. And, that is how you become confused and powerless.
You may start thinking that if the things you like are not okay if others do not approve of them. Hearing this voice saying you are worthless, incapable, inadequate, etc., and letting it become louder and stronger, in the end, is the only thing you hear.
Nonetheless, there is a secret that can help you shut down that voice in your head. All you have to do is to challenge it. Do not believe what it is saying. And, there comes another problem when you start disagreeing with that voice – you get anxiety.
Every dysfunction has anxiety as a superpower. Anxiety is what gets you stuck in that discomfort. So, when you feel anxious, you may want to avoid it, so you may give up challenging your own thinking.
However, no matter how hard it seems, you need to challenge your own voice, your beliefs, and yourself if you want to win. Never believe a word that another voice is telling you.
Do not be afraid of feeling anxious or afraid; remember that there is no person that has died because of it. The feelings of anxiety and fear will never take your life, but they will give you freedom. You will be free from that voice of dysfunction.
All you need to do is to stop believing the negative thoughts you hear. Martha Beck is an author, and she says that you need to create yourself a daily mantra that will help you convince yourself that everything negative you hear is a lie.
When you start your change, you will feel the change. It may come slowly, but it will be there for sure. So, next time, when your voice says you are not good enough, do not believe it, but choose to believe that you are!
Never give up on yourself no matter how hard the situation seems. There will be ups and downs, but the path to your success is sure. Remember, to kill the voice of dysfunction; you need to be persistent.
You will feel that the voice of truth, wisdom, and self-love will be the one that leads you to happiness. This article was inspired by Megan Forest’s article published in Tiny Buddha.