3 Clever Ways to Deal with Manipulators
Psychological manipulation is an ambiguous and loaded term. But how many people really understand it? The term refers to the gaslighting, lying, distorting, and dominating emotionally controlling behavior.
That behavior is common for people who have hard but close relationships. The manipulators might be our children, parents, or our partners. How to know when you are manipulated?
You are manipulated when your own personal perspective is invalidated when fights are emotionally charged when you are unhappy and off-balance and also when the power in your relationship is diminished.
There are ways to deal with this. Of course, not every single controlling move might be neutralized and not every single person might respond to these techniques.
However, generally speaking, there are 3 best ways to deal with manipulation. What to know about them? Read on and learn how to keep your sanity while making your relationship a more stable one.
Effective Ways to Respond to Manipulative Behavior
In case you feel unsafe in your relationship, what you need to do is make a plan to ensure your well-being. You can find a close person who you trust, and you must explain your situation in detail.
The right person will understand and protect you. If you don’t feel safe at home, you need to take yourself out temporarily or permanently if necessary.
Tell your family member or partner that you cannot stay in an environment where you cannot communicate without yelling and that you will leave until things calm down.
If you want mention that you will come later, to talk. In case you need to disengage, make sure to lock the door, leave the room or the house.
If this happens while in the car, stop the car and leave or refuse to drive while the other person is in the car. If you don’t feel safe around them, spend time with that person only when there is another third-person around you.
Don’t read texts or emails from them. Set limits to ensure your safety and follow them strictly.
#2 Take a Non-combative Approach
When you start a conversation with a manipulative person, make sure to have a non-combative approach. What does this mean? It means that you must choose the right time to start a conversation and talk.
Choose not to escalate a small argument into a big one. Also, you must be aware of your mood when confronting this person, since your feelings do not affect the conversation you are trying to have.
Moreover, taking this noncombative approach means declining to fight back in times when you feel attacked. The truth is that arguing about the apparent fact will not be productive.
Therefore, hear out the other person and reflect their feelings into your words. Do your best to restate their position and not react to it. Do this even if you don’t agree with what they have to say.
Always respond with “I” statements that reflect your truth. Try to do it without diagnosing, blaming, and interpreting.
#3 Know When to Walk Away
Your relative, friend, and partner might never be able to control their emotions well enough in order to treat you correctly.
In case this becomes clear, you must end the conversation. After you speak your mind, your partner should know what do you expect and want from the relationship.
When dealing with manipulation, the best thing to do is follow the principles mentioned above. You must know your limits and rights, you must neutrally set clear boundaries, and you must make your safety a number 1 priority.
If nothing helps, the best thing for you is to leave, because there is nothing more valuable in this world than a piece of mind.