Recover and Learn From Breakups
Relationships are good, but sometimes they come to an end. The reasons behind a breakup may be various, from incompatibility to cheating. However, the fact is that many people experience a broken heart at some point in their lives.
It is difficult for a person to get out of a relationship in which they shared so many things with the partner.
There were times in which you two woke up together smiling, kissing, making love, etc. And, now, all of that love has come to an end, and the negative feelings have just begun.
There are feelings of sadness, anger, hate, bitterness, a lot of crying, hiding, etc. Even people feel like their world has fallen apart.
But, people, you need to know that all of those feelings are normal. We are humans, and we are allowed to feel both negative and positive emotions.
How to Recover After a Breakup: 10 Steps
People may tell you things such as “Don’t be stupid to cry over your breakup, you are going to find someone better.”
However, you should know that it is okay to feel sad. Do not run away from all of those feelings, and do not act like everything is okay.
So, accept that you broke up a relationship, let yourself feel whatever you feel, but not for too long.
2. Cope with Your Pain
You must not suppress the pain you feel. Sooner or later, the suppressed feelings come back, and they may cause even bigger issues.
That is why you need to accept that it hurts, and deal with it.
No one wants to feel pain nor anger forever, and you will definitely not like the consequences of not dealing with negative emotions.
3. Find a Trustful Person
In those moments when you feel hurt, pain, and insecurity, you should find a trustful person. You should not lock in your room and not talk to people.
Choose your closest friend, or a family member, and open yourself up to them. This will help you feel better and get a faster recovering.
4. Take a Piece of Paper
Writing is good and helpful in many ways. One of the ways is that it helps you release whatever you feel.
Take a piece of paper and write down your feelings no matter if they are good or bad. According to scientific studies, writing is of big help in healing processes. (1)
When you express your emotions through words, you will release all of that sadness, anger, and bitterness that have been torturing you.
And, when you go back to what you have written down, you are going to be able to know how to deal with it.
5. Rest, Take a Break
All of that pain you are feeling is stressful, exhaustive, and painful. This may not be an obvious wound, but it is internal, you cannot see it, but you can feel it.
You need to remember that the only important thing is you, not your ex. Take some time to go through the healing process because if you do not, you will never recover.
Also, you need to remember that you should not call your ex.
6. Do Not Hate Yourself
Never ever blame yourself for the failed relationship. Do not tell yourself that you are stupid, bad, evil, boring, etc.
It is not important whose fault it was, it just ended, and you need to recover. Everyone goes through breakups every minute of the day.
You are not alone, and you will be happy again.
7. Forget the Good Memories
Memory lane in your mind should take a break. Stop thinking about how good a time you had while you were together.
That is all gone, and now you should focus on yourself. All of that thinking makes the recovery period much harder.
8. Say Goodbye to Love Songs
Forget about Celine Dion, Bryan Adams, or Adele. Forget about love songs. Listening to sad songs goes deep in your mind and wakes up bad feelings, and you do not want that.
But, you can listen to some music that will lift up your mood.
9. Say Hello to the World
Take time for yourself, but not too long. Go outside, go for a walk, go to a party, and hang out with people. You should not imprison yourself at home.
Breathe the fresh air, and feel nature. Also, do what makes you happy. Watch movies, exercise, run, read, draw, or whatever you feel like doing.
10. Forgive and Forget
No one benefits by keeping anger. You should forgive yourself and your ex. Forgiving means preventing negative emotions from controlling your mind.
You are going to learn how to be stronger than ever. Forget about what has happened, all of that is just a part of people’s lives.
What Can You Learn From a Breakup?
No matter how painful a breakup is, in the end, it is a good thing. Why? You get a lesson from it. First of all, a relationship teaches you that nothing is and can never be perfect.
Things in life can get hard, and that is okay. Sometimes people think when they are with someone that person is that their property. That is not true. No one belongs to anyone.
You cannot control anyone’s life; no one can control yours. Furthermore, you cannot get love from other people if you do not love yourself.
You are the one that completes you. You should love yourself first. We all need some “me time,” we cannot be together with our partners every second of every day.
To be in a good relationship means being able to spend some time alone. Also, the passion fades away.
There are going to come times when the lust has lost its way, but the love will take place.
Relationships are not all about passion, they are about love, and love is accepting and loving the imperfect person.
Another good thing we learn after a breakup is that there are relationships meant to teach us how to let go of things.
All in all, we can learn so many things after a breakup, but the most important thing is to learn how to heal and love ourselves, as well as have faith that everything is going to be alright.