5 Reasons Why Narcissists are Unable to Love People
Anyone who has ever loved a narcissist has probably wondered: “Does he appreciate me?” or “Does she love me?” Often, they are torn between their pain and their love, or to be more precise between leaving or staying.
Why these doubts? Because they have a narcissist for a partner. Sometimes narcissists can show affection and love, but the next second they might push their partner away.
This can be really confusing. One time you might see them as the caring person you fall in love with, the person with whom you enjoy spending time. Then next time their behavior will make you feel pathetic and worthless.
Narcissists say that they love their significant others, kids, and families in general, but do they? The issue of whether or not they can love is a hard one.
According to experts, if you thought that your narcissistic ex-loved you, then you should know that you aren’t wrong. Most likely they meant the things they have said. Maybe they were in love with you or at least in their fantasy of both of you as a couple.
But, that type of passion is directed at their fantasies, projections, and expectations. It isn’t the love of another person but of themselves. A narcissist may fall in love, but they cannot stay in love. Why?
Because a narcissist lacks the range of perceptions and feelings needed to actually experience, feel and give love. For narcissists, relationships are transactional.
They want to achieve a certain goal or to enjoy uncommitted pleasure. They use manipulation to win other people’s admiration and love. They want to be gratified, respected, and loved.
#1 They Have No Patience with Imperfections in Their Partner
They expect their partner to be perfect. When it comes to the significant other, it is impossible to live up to the expectations of the narcissist. This causes the relationship to be unhealthy and heavy.
#2 They Cannot Stand Their Partner to Be Better Than Them
Narcissists are obsessed with being ideal. So, they get envious of people who they believe are better than them. They might get angry when narcissists are outdone by another individual, particularly if this is their partner.
#3 Nothing Is Good Enough for Them
Narcissists always want more. This is their life motto. When they get what they want, they aren’t happy for long, and they shift their whole attention to a different goal.
Their desires are always in flux. Narcissists aren’t interested in people or things for too long, and none of their decisions are final. They have a highly materialistic nature, and they are never satisfied.
There is one term called “The Narcissistic Supply.” This term was used in the 20th century by psychologist Otto Fenichel.
This term stands for interpersonal support, admiration, and sustenance from one’s environment and it is crucial to their self-esteem.
#5 For Them Manipulation Is Love
They use an indirect way to control people. They try their best to control other people because they are scared their narcissistic supply is running out.
Narcissists try to belittle, manipulate and humiliate their significant other so that they can complete authority and that their partner serves their purposes. Those people who are in love with a narcissist fall victim to these fake expressions of love.
So, what do you think about this? Have you ever been in love with a narcissist?