20 Best Pieces of Marriage Advice From a Divorced Man
Nowadays, we should all be careful where we get our marriage or relationship advice from. Although we can find them everywhere, from tabloid magazines and Hollywood blockbusters to our friends, the truth is there are a lot of bad ones out there.
In this article, we will share some of the most practical and honest advice about marriage from a divorced man. We know it seems counterintuitive, but he tells the biggest lessons he learned from his failed marriage, and they are brilliant.
Gerald Rogers is the man whose advice about marriage touched so many people. He is a motivational speaker and author, and the day his divorce became official, he shared the advice on Facebook along with a photo of his wedding day.
After losing the woman he loved, he realized what he should have done to have a happy and healthy marriage.
Here are the advice he wish he would have had:
1. Never take your woman for granted. Never stop dating and courting. Keep the promise you gave to her when you marry her – that you will protect her heart the best you can. Never forget that SHE CHOSE YOU! So, see her heart as the most valuable treasure you were ever entrusted with.
2. Guard your own heart with the same vigilance as you will guard hers. Love yourself and the world around you. But, keep a special place in your heart just for your wife and don’t allow anyone to enter except for her.
3. Fall in love over and over again. You are both living beings so you change all the time and that’s normal. That’s why you have to re-choose her every day, and the other way round. Have in mind that she can gave her heart to someone else if you don’t take care of it.
And, you may never be able to get it back. Fight to win her love every day just like in the beginning.
4. Focus on seeing the best in her. See the things you love about her and you’ll be consumed by love. On the contrary, if you focus on the things about her that bug you, you will be bugged. Focus on love until you realize you are the luckiest person in the world to have her as your wife.
5. Don’t try to change her or fix her – it’s not your job! Only she can change herself if she wants, and if she does, love the change. Your job is to love her and respect her choices.
6. Accept the fact that you are responsible for your own emotions – it’s not her fault that you are sad and it’s not her job to make you happy.
7. If you get angry or frustrated, don’t blame her. Your emotions are your responsibility. Take some time to find out what it is inside you that needs to be healed. Once you heal yourself, she will no longer trigger you.
8. Let your wife to JUST BE. Don’t try to fix when she’s sad or depressed. Your job is to hold her and tell her that everything is going to be just fine. Make sure she knows you are the support she needs. So, don’t run away when she gets angry or upset.
Let her know that you’ll stay strong and unjudging when her emotions will roll in and out.
9. Do not take yourself so seriously. Be silly, laugh, and make her smile. In that way, everything seems easier.
10. Learn what she needs to feel loved, cherished, and validated, and show it to her every day. Remember the things that make her happy and make her feel like a queen every day.
11. Give your wife your attention, your focus, and your soul – be present! Make sure she knows you are fully with her when spending time together. She is your most valuable client!
12. Consume her with the power of your masculinity and penetrate her to the deepest points of her soul. Allow your wife to enjoy her feminine softness and to melt in it as she know she can trust you completely.
13. Both of you will make mistakes, but don’t be an idiot to make big ones. No one says you should be perfect because you can’t, but try to learn from your mistakes and not be too stupid.
14. Your wife can’t just give – she needs time for herself, so make sure you GIVE HER SPACE. Let her do whatever it feeds her soul, especially after you have children.
Give her time and space to get re-centered and renew, and to find herself again after getting lost in the new world for her.
15. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Share your feelings and fears, and be quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
16. Drop the mask and let her know everything about you. Don’t pretend that you are someone else or that you are perfect. You are not! If she love the person she discovers, your light as well as your darkness, you will experience a new dimension of love.
17. Always grow together. Never stop working on your relationship – find common dreams, goals, and vision to work towards.
18. When it comes to money, don’t worry too much. Instead, find ways to work together as a team.
19. Don’t carry weight from the past, forgive immediately! If both of you hold on to past mistakes, you will only hold back yourselves as a couple. Forgive and you will feel free!
20. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE! This is the ultimate advice for every couple!
At the end of the day, it’s not about happily ever after. Marriage is about work and commitment to grow together and invest in creating something beautiful that will endure eternity! Only in that way both partners can be happy.
Marriage has its ups and downs, just like life. Embracing all the periods and learning from all experiences will help you build a strong and solid marriage, one brick at a time.
Don’t let yourself learn these lessons the hard way.
The author is now happily married, having built a foundation which can endure any storm. Share this advice with any couple you think it has forgotten how to truly love.
Who knows, maybe some of those men are like the author, and the advice will awake something in them that their wives have been waiting for. And, if your marriage is not like it used to be, take responsibility for your part no matter where your partner is at.
Be determined to apply these lessons to save your marriage and make it the most wonderful experience in your life.
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Tom Pumford
