4 Steps to Read Other People’s Energy
Some see reading people as a gift they already have, for others this is something which needs calibration. Reading the energy of other people needs connection with your emotional intelligence, emotional self and also learning how to trust your emotions.
What is emotional intelligence? Well, this is something that we grew up learning to stunt or strengthen.
In case you were taught to avoid your emotions with responses like “I am OK,” or you were told not to cry, you are susceptible to be less receptive to the emotional state of other people.
This is in comparison to someone who grew up talking about their feelings.
The co-author of the Mayer, Salovey, Caruso Test for Emotional Intelligence, assistant to the Dean at Yale University, psychologist, Ph.D., David Caruso talks about this.
He says that being taught to hide emotions, the thing that makes us human might have disastrous effects later when we are adults.
Computers in Human Behavior published a study on this topic. This study explains what occurs when we remove communication and screen-based media devices from our lives.
And what happens when we replace these devices with personal and physical connections:
“While digital media provides many useful ways to communicate and learn, our study suggests that skills in reading human emotion may be diminished when face-to-face interaction is displaced by technologically mediated communication. We found that those who were away from screens, with many opportunities for in-person interaction, improved significantly in reading facial emotion cues.”
There are a few determinants in terms of our emotional intelligence baseline, and the way we can read another person, but how do we improve those abilities and make personal encounters more successful and informative?
4 Simple Steps to Read the Energy of Other People
Step #1 Put Priority in Their Body Language
In case you are in a bad mood, probably you are not good at hiding that mood as you believe you are. You should know that our body language gives us away every single time if you know what and where to look for.
There are negative and positive emotions we show through our body language.
Eye-contact, crossing our arms, the direction our feet are when talking to someone, smiling, and different other displays of body language might show someone about what and how you’re feeling.
What you need to do is pay close attention to the body language and believe what it says. Most of what the body communicates isn’t being filtered, edited and controlled by the person you communicate with.
#2 Try to Be Objective
Try to be objective with every person you talk to. Often, we have our personal biases and views into the perception of others, and that might cloud the final judgment.
For instance, if you had an unpleasant experience with a supervisor, you may, unfairly, believe that the next one will be just as unpleasant and unhelpful as the previous supervisor.
Or, in case you met someone who has the same name as someone you don’t like, you might act differently towards them.
Blanca Cobb, founder of Truth Blazer and body language consultant, talks on this topic. According to her: “Your own emotions and your previous experiences with another person can color your impressions, and that may lead you to misread the situation.”
Instead of assuming that someone’s slovenly appearance has something to do with the maliciousness or benevolence of their intent or instead of taking notes of their attire, become a blank slate.
And pay close attention to the words and behaviors of the other person.
#3 Let The Energy Flow
After we create an image and idea about someone, we have a tendency to view them through a specific lens. You should bear in mind that the energy always moves, and so do the labels you put on others.
All you need is to feel them. Remember one thing; you don’t need to understand, you need to feel. Simply let the energy people emit tell you what are they really thinking and feeling.
Try not to define them with how you currently feel and have an open mind. Do your best to see the bigger picture of them and pay attention to their energy from a different perspective.
For instance, in case we label some person as “manipulative,” we tend to notice the behaviors which correspond with that particular label, and consequently, we don’t see the expressions which don’t respond to the initial label.
The best way to avoid this is to not put a label on the energy you are reading. Yes, it is true that first impressions are typically correct about someone, but they are not foolproof.
Re-evaluate your first assumptions according to continued interaction and try to alter them accordingly.
#4 Trust What You Feel
When you communicate with others and feel the energy these people emit it’s very likely that at first, you won’t trust your energy.
It is like that since we have a habit to find reasonable and logical proofs for the behavior of other people and that is how we create the image we have of these people.
But, bear one thing in mind, you never know the reality, you only know what these people will let you know. However, on the other hand, energy never lies, so you need to trust the energy you feel from someone without looking for clear proof.
In case you believe that someone, for instance, is really sad but they don’t show or tell any sadness in what they say, you need to trust yourself and your feelings.
What you need to do is be kind to them, hug them. Remember there is no such thing as a small act of kindness. That may be the essential thing they need, and maybe they are just ashamed to show it.
Improve Your Emotional Intelligence to Improve Your Health
Having an understanding of other people allows for more honest and deeper relationships. There are many studies made about the link between overall well-being and emotional intelligence, and the results are fascinating, to say the least.
Dr.Reuven Bar has done one such study. According to this study, emotional intelligence has a notable effect on the ability to cope with and survive medicinal conditions which are life treating and on our health.
According to one meta-analysis, emotional intelligence is linked with better health. By understanding ourselves better, we can understand others better, and that can benefit our bodies and certainly minds.
But reading the energy of other people is not the best thing about it. By learning how to read energy, you would be able to understand your emotions and consequently be healthier.
The better you are at reading your emotions, the better you will be at reading emotions in other people.