How to Stay Calm During a Conflict and Resolve It Effectively
Did you know that your ability to stay calm during an argument depends on your emotional intelligence? That’s right; the higher your emotional intelligence, the higher the chances you’ll stay calm under pressure.
On the other hand, the less emotional intelligence, the more conflict and inability to stay calm.
But, what exactly is emotional intelligence? Well, it’s your ability to recognize and manage your emotions, as well as those of others.
Although conflicts and arguments are a normal part of life that we can’t control, the way we react is something we can learn how to control.
By identifying, acknowledging, and managing our negative emotions, we become more aware of our reactions and more capable of staying calm during a conflict.
Here’s how to stay calm in an argument.
Breathe Deeply and Focus on Your Body
The natural body’s response to stress is shallow breathing. But, you should try to take deep breaths and quash this natural response in order to stay calm. In that way, you’ll stop the production of cortisol and adrenaline – stress hormones.
Then, focus on your body – the tension and any other sensation that accompanies stress. Relax your hands and shoulders to relieve the tension.
Listen and Ask Open-Ended Questions
Attentive and active listening is a must in any argument. Concentrate on what the other person says without interrupting them.
You can ask them open-ended questions (why, when, how, what) to show them that you were attentively listening, but to also learn everything you need for a particular situation.
Keep Your Voice Down & Agree to Disagree
Do not raise your voice in an argument. That will only make things worse. It’s better if you lower it to impart a sense of calm. Or, if you see that the argument is not going anywhere, disengage from the conversation politely.
Don’t be too passive as the other person might walk all over you. However, being too aggressive is also not good for an argument. That’s why it’s best to be clear about the problem and stay concentrated on it, instead of dragging up past discussions.
Open up and talk about your feelings to make sure the other party knows what you need to compromise.
When dealing with other people, make sure you’re not attacking the other person’s character, insulting them, shutting them down, or presenting yourself as a victim. Instead, show the other person that you respect them no matter what.
And, if you notice the other person is using these tactics on you, suggest continuing the argument after everyone has calmed down.
Although we all know that handling a conflict reasonably and rationally is the right thing to do, we can’t always do it. After all, we are all human beings, and sometimes we lose our temper. But, when that happens, it’s important to admit your mistake and apologize.
Try to stay calm, and you’ll probably end the discussion in a positive way for both parties.
What do you do to stay calm during a conflict? Tell us your secret in the comments below.