The Pain of Loving Someone We Can’t Have
Love, it is something which every single person on Earth thinks, talks or dreams about. But, love can be a tricky thing. Why? Because it varies in the specificity of feelings and in intensity.
Sometimes, love is the best thing in the world, but it can be the most horrid thing as well. So, why do people still long for it and discuss it? Well, because love it is the closest people will get to perfection.
Love it the only thing which can comfortably and efficiently encompass both evil and good, ugly and beautiful. It is the closest people will get to that flawless whole.
But, when most people think of love, they think of the happy kind where everything is beautiful, and everything makes sense. But, there is one more type of love, the sadder one.
What it that? It’s the love a person feels when they love someone, but they know they will never be together. This love signals the end of something which may have been good. The truth is that love does not always end happily.
Love does not always cause the joining of two people and the fusing on two different lives into one. Sometimes love causes the wedging apart of two people who love each other strongly.
It’s sad, but it’s true, you can love someone with your heart and soul, and still never end up with them, knowing that you won’t last together. Sadly, some people will not ever end up together, even if both love one another passionately.
Why does this happen? Because the truth is that love isn’t enough. Yes, read it once more, love is not enough. All of those cartoons, fairy tales, stories, and movies weren’t entirely true.
Love isn’t enough since it’s not rational. Surely, you have heard before that love is irrational, but you have also heard that love is all it takes to be with someone. Well, not quite. You see, we live in a world which is governed by rationality.
And yes, irrational love can work for some time, but then all of a sudden the real world will catch up. All those irrational illusions will disappear. What happens then?
Reality! Reality does not reason as lovers do. The truth is that some individuals do not work out together. They have certain beliefs and habits which prevent them to cohabitate with the individual they genuinely love.
No couple out there loves everything about their significant other. Of course, they might find some quirks unique or cute, but they do not love them they accept them, there is a difference.
Two people can love each other with their heart, and soul, yet not be capable of living together forever. The relationship needs compromise.
You cannot love everything about your partner, but you will love them enough to live with those things you do not like. But, not all people can compromise. Sometimes it doesn’t work, even if you both love each other.
Compromising is a choice, you can choose to make it work or not. As long as it does not go against your nature, it can work. But even then, compromising may not be enough.
In some cases, there are entirely other reasons why 2 people cannot be together. Usually, this is the deciding factor of whether or not you will spend your lives together – if you can forgive and then forget.
Love is an intense feeling, and sometimes it can cause us to make poor choices which can hurt our significant other. They might be lies we told, things we said or poor calls of judgment.
Each time both partners take a long or a short break from each other, they come back and do their best to start fresh. But after some time they show they have luggage, and they begin to unpack.
That is when all the demons simply come out. Whenever love scars, one thing is sure it cuts really deep. This type of pain is something which you cannot fully forget.
When you hurt the woman you love, she will leave and not come back. And even if you want her back, she won’t trust you. She will be scared you are going to hurt her again. You see, one thing all relationships cannot work without is trust.
And you have shattered hers. The chances are that both of you will never heal, and that is something you both decided to live with because you do not have other options.
What is next? You hope that you shall find other people to love. You hope that another woman will take her place. But even if this happens, it doesn’t mean that you will ever stop loving one another.
You see, some people love one another until the end, spending most of their lives apart. This is the sad and dark side of love.
Unsplash – Ryan Moreno