Process Your Childhood Emotional Wounds In 9 Steps
When trauma occurs, it generates emotions, and if we do not process them, they can get stuck in our mind and body. Some event from the past can stay with us in our unconscious interfering with our life, so we have to find out what it is and handle it.
In order to heal from a trauma dating back from childhood, you have to process emotions such as shame, sadness, fear, and anger. To heal from a trauma, you need to recognize the violation, feel the emotions, and accept that it does not define your personality.
In this way, you will be able to let it go. However, since sadness and anger are painful emotions, the process of healing does not occur immediately. Sometimes, we may suppress our emotions instead of allowing ourselves to feel them.
Children find this process even more difficult, and an insult about their appearance may result in serious health issues such as dysmorphia, anorexia, depression etc. So, these wounds follow us in adulthood and affect our everyday life.
The reason why we do not always feel our feelings is sometimes a result of parents’ approach. Even the most loving and kind parents can make mistakes. For instance, saying to a child “it is okay, do not feel bad,” is wrong.
It is okay for us to feel bad, think about why do we feel that way. Also, parents who do not let their kids cry, do not teach them how to feel their feelings, so kids start seeing those emotions as terrifying.
If you are an adult with childhood trauma, you need to work on fixing it, and here are some ways that can help you out.
1. Connect to the Ground
Find a nice and quiet place where you will be calmed and in peace. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, take deep breaths, and focus on your body. Then, you need to squeeze and release your muscles and feel the tension.
Feel the connection to the ground, and imagine a flow of energy going from your tailbone down to the ground.
2. Think About the Situation
In step number two, you should think about a certain situation in which you have felt upset. Think about everything that has happened, and make yourself to experience it again when you feel the emotions increasing, continue to the next step.
3. Feel It
Make sure to breathe deeply, and spend a minute in relaxation. Observe your feelings of burning, tightness, tingling, etc. Then, you should describe these feelings to yourself in details.
4. Give it a Name
In the fourth step, you need to link each emotion with a sensation you feel. Try printing out a list of emotions because you may find it helpful. In this way, you will get to know yourself better. When you name your emotions, continue to the following step.
5. Accept What You Feel
It is very important to accept whatever you are feeling. Say to yourself “I love myself for feeling anxious, sad, angry, and so on.” Do it for each emotion. Accept yourself as you are, and love yourself.
6. Experience Your Emotions
Whatever you are feeling, embrace it, and let yourself feel it because soon it will be gone. If you want to cry, then, cry. If you want to yell, then, yell. Let yourself respond in the way you want to. In this way, you will be able to process your emotions.
7. What is the Message?
Think about your sensations or emotions. What kind of a message are they trying to send you? You can try writing down for ten minutes what your emotions and sensations want to tell you. Then, move to the next step.
8. Talk About It
If you are okay with talking about your emotions with someone, then, you should do that. But, if you do not like sharing your personal feelings with others, write them down.
Describe the situation, your reaction, and what do you understand. Writing or talking about what has happened to you is very helpful. Also, writing a letter to the person that has hurt you is a great way for releasing that emotion.
9. Finally, Let it Go
In the end, all you have to do is imagine the energy of that bad situation leaving your body. Or, you can try burning the letter you have written to the one that hurt you.
Even though you may not feel comfortable during this process, you will be thankful when everything is over. The energy that has been stuck with you will be freed, and you will have space for new positive energy.