Why a Friend Always Bails on Plans?
We all have friends that always cancel their plans at the last minute. Of course, it is disappointing and frustrating. As a result, you often argue with them for ‘’bailing’’. But, there could be a reason why they are always canceling.
Maybe your friend seems ‘’flaky’’ on the outside, but they could probably be dealing with anxiety on the inside. Therefore, if your friend is repeatedly canceling plans at the last minute, don’t just assume they don’t care about you.
In fact, there could be a strong reason behind it.
1. Too Intimidating to Engage with People
Many people with anxiety simply find it too intimidating to engage with a lot of people. So, if your friend is bailing, it doesn’t mean that they are taking your friendship for granted. Besides, it is not like they don’t want to spend time with you, party, or drink.
It is just that the thought of going is too overwhelming.
2. Anxiety Replaces the Enthusiasm
Even if your friend really wants to go with you to a party, for example, they simply can’t because their anxiety replaces their strong enthusiasm and fills the body with a lot of dread.
So, even if the party sounds great, and they really want to go, deep down they can’t.
3. Thoughts and Feelings Get Messed Up
If your friend is dealing with anxiety, their thoughts will probably get chaotic. They will probably ask themselves: ‘’does anyone want me here’’ or ‘’am I needed’’? These worries will dominate your friend’s brain, and force them to create awkward silences.
Moreover, your friend might even worry about being judged. Therefore, they will be extremely concerned with their appearance, pictures, and the food they eat.
4. Anxiety Doesn’t Listen to Logic
Since anxiety doesn’t follow a logical pattern, it can often make a person panic, even hours before meeting with people. As a result, people often cancel at the last minute.
5. The Guilt Is Overwhelming
People with anxiety often fear that they might be boring or too rude. In the end, it creates stress and frustration for the people who simply can’t deal with the struggles. Instead, they decide to avoid them altogether, which is why they cancel on you.
How to Solve the Problem?
If your friend regularly cancels plans for social gatherings, we suggest that you try and understand their problem.
Therefore, the best thing you can do is be patient. Besides, some people who even look easygoing or extremely confident may be suffering from anxiety, even if they try not to show it. After all, anxiety can strike at any moment, sometimes without warnings.
So, it is crucial to be patient with a friend with anxiety. What causes such a reaction is their fear and self-doubt that they can’t control. As a result, they avoid social gatherings. Moreover, canceling is the easiest way to deal with the problem.
In addition, people with anxiety choose to stay in a safe environment. So, it is important not to put pressure on your friend or force them to give you an immediate answer.
The best way to deal with the problem is to be patient and give your friend time.